A not so new year resolution

Back in the days, I did make a list of resolutions every new years. I'd probably have about 10 things in each list. To summarize, I've probably only successfully accomplished 3 of those and it wasn't even on the year I made it for.

1.) Get my driver's license. Pretty sure I promise this myself at 17 and I did get it only it expired and I haven't really tried again until I was 20.
2.) Lose weight and maintain the ideal weight. Still an on going project and probably forever will. Lost roughly 30 lbs since my university graduation. 15 more lbs till I reach my ideal weight.
3.) Live abroad by myself. This was more of a bucket list but I added it officially on my resolution list after grad. Who knew a few months later it'd come true. South Korea is now my 3rd home.

Hopefully to add a fourth one on the accomplished resolution list is to learn how to play a musical instrument. It's pretty hard as no one in the family has any musical talent. Nor was it ever fostered. It's not that we couldn't afford it but it certainly wasn't a priority. Since I now have free time and am blessed by God by not having any debts, I think its time to make that resolution come true. I'm borrowing my best friend's guitar for now since we're sorta on the same boat... wants to learn how to play an instrument but its not a priority thus guitar is now collecting dust. If I really do get into it, you bet I'll be buying my own.

Learning will be difficult as I absolutely haven't retained any info from my last music class which was way back in elementary. I'll have to learn how to read a sheet music; somehow translating those notes into sounds on the guitar; remembering finger positions and how to make what chord; tuning my ear to tell the difference between pitches and other musical terms you can think of. It'll really be from scratch basically. Now, I don't intend to be a genius composer/song-writer here but the gist of this resolution is to be able to play my favorite songs.

This passion honestly stems back from listening to OPM songs. I find it to be more soulful, the lyrics do make you emotional and the instrumentals are more eloquent. Even if someone didn't understand Tagalog, I think they can tell from the singer's voice and the instruments what emotion is being conveyed. So it makes sense that the first song I want to be able to play is OPM.

Forevermore by Side A is my ultimate favorite OPM which I sing over and over again on my karaoke. Sure, I might've botched up the song but I love it so much that I don't care. CD happens to like this song too but he plays it on the guitar, not sing it. (Lemme say it now that I'm learning how to play the guitar / this song not because of CD but for me)

Hopefully I'll be able to make a video of me playing this song on the guitar. I promise no singing involved!

Crab in a bucket

So I just found out a few days ago that a certain co-worker of mine took my joke too seriously and used it to complain about his/her lack of shifts. I know I've been getting a lot but its not like that's in my control. I didn't even know other people had that much less shifts than me and when I did, I joked that "maybe coz I'm the favorite". Pretty low ball of that co-worker to use my joke to try and get more shifts.

My supervisor was very patient explaining to me that I should try not to make jokes like that and also watch out for 2-faced people. Then he started mentioning that its all crab mentality, some people just like to aim for the successful ones. I'm really glad he's on my side with this. Coz joking aside or not, I'm aware (and so are my supervisors) that I can definitely do my job in an efficient and timely manner plus positive attitude and that alone is the reason for my many shifts.

Anywho, so I sorta spent the next couple of days sulking about which co-worker was this. I have a person in mind but my supervisor said no (not sure if he was just saying that though). I try to think back what he said exactly and since he did mention about being "2-faced", I'm now concerned its actually someone close to me. It still bugs me now but after having one-on-one time with each supervisor, including CD, I feel much better. I apologized to them if it made them look bad but they were actually concerned for me. The female supervisor actually told me they were all worried how to bring up this issue to me. So I was touched that they cared and immediately knew that this was all bullshit.

However due to the freshness of this issue. I am trying to distance myself from all supervisors, especially CD. I don't wanna give that co-worker another excuse to make me look bad just coz I happen to get along with everyone. I was pretty sad with the thought at first but this is probably for a good reason. I don't over-think as much when it comes with CD. I might just be able to fall out of crush for him and still be good friends with him. I really wouldn't wanna lose that guy as a friend after all.

[January 14, 2014 UPDATE]
There was a huge announcement that one of the supervisors is moving to another department. Although I already figured that out by piecing together some recent events. Anyway, one of the co-workers who became my first friend there joked that I should be the next supervisor. See? Even non-supervisors see my hard work and efforts. But I immediately made a sour face and shook my head. Why? Coz the co-worker I first suspected of complaining was sitting beside me. I didn't wanna give her the idea that I'm now after a higher position. I really am not since its pointless coz once I'm back in school (by May hopefully), I'll be working less shifts. But at the same time, if they really did offer me the position, I'm willing to work and study full time.

I should probably keep my mouth shut

This whole trying to be discreet thing is not working out anymore. More and more people are figuring it out and I'm having a harder time weasling my way out of this.

First is a female co-worker who knew how I felt about CD (crush dude). She actually didn't think I was serious and was so shocked when I was a little affectionate during the Christmas potluck. My defense was that he's my ride home and need to make sure he's functional.

Second, though he didn't say it, the host of the potluck and the guy who always joked he'd find me a boyfriend (was even willing to give both of his sons to me) seems to be trying to pair me up with CD. He's hosting another party and he invited me then mentioned that he'll invite CD too. He didn't mention inviting our gay co-worker though who he knows I'm pretty close with as well. So it's like he's siding with me and giving me my chance without feeling guilty.

Third, just a single conversation. Probably the first really with this older lady co-worker. She immediately blurted out that I had a crush on CD. Apparently I talked about him a lot during that allotted time. I didn't bring him up though. She was the one talking about cute guys at work and another female co-worker brought his name up. Then I just brought up the topic about that supervisor who joked about me and him going out. I also mentioned his car a lot coz I really do like it. So somehow I got to segue and say I have a crush on his car. LOL!! But I have to be more careful now because I think she is on a prowl and wants to catch me. She did say I should "go for it", to which I replied "I'm the girl here, he should be the one asking me out". And I don't mean that in a traditional male/female roles but rather my romantic fantasy kicking in.

It'll be a huge challenge since this whole week we have the same shifts. Plus the party will be on Thursday and I don't know if I really do wanna go, whether he's going or not. After how things ended for my gay friend during the last party, I'm a little afraid. I really don't wanna make things awkward at work. And I definitely don't wanna be overthinking more than I already am.