For the Lonely and Broken Hearted

During last week's pot bless event at my church's college group. A few of us girls and boys decided to talk about past love. Whether it was our first crush, last one or the one the just hurts us the most. I was really surprised at how LB opened up. Then the next thing you know, one by one, people just started talking about their "almost". Its kinda funny coz I would never expect some of them to go through what they had gone through. They are absolutely gorgeous, handsome, and fantastic people all around to be with.

Of course, I told them about CD. And how I was truly afraid to lose both CD and GF as a friend. But to be honest, I'm kinda glad I don't have to worry about them both anymore. At the same time though, I don't think I really wanna be around them any time soon. I feel like when I do see them again, I hope I'll have become a better person. You know, make them see what they've missed out on. Though I can't imagine having that sort of goal for the rest of my life. Proving yourself to others seem pretty pointless when those others don't care about you the way you do them.

So instead I'll share that caring feeling to the others who are lonely, broken and perhaps even neglected. Here's a poem I made for those either wishing to go back to those beautiful times or those wanting to jump ahead towards that better future.

I Miss The Way You’ll Love Me

Remember that time we’ll meet?

The way you’ll look standing across that street

Never again will my heart beat so fast

As when your eyes upon my face, it casts

Oh how the blood will rush to my cheek

Causing me to look away and still take a peek

How I miss when we’ll play pretend

Maybe even give mixed signals to send

When finally you’ll walk my way

And I’ll look up just in time to say

I miss the way you’ll love me

This much can you foresee?

Match Made in Heaven

You know when you can just tell some people are meant to be? Well, I'm grateful to know many people have found their "the one". In fact, the most recent of that list is my first crush. I didn't mean to Facebook stalk but it appeared on my timeline and of course I went ahead and browsed a few pictures.

I had a crush on him when I was in Grade 3 but I knew him since nursery school. He was your typical popular guy who's a combination of smart, athletic and good-looking. He was everyone's friend and every girl's dream guy. You could see him as the doing-things-in-an-orderly-fashion kinda guy... graduating from a well-known university, getting a high paying job, marrying a nice girl and then having kids. So I was really shocked to find out that he and his girlfriend had a kid before graduating and getting married.

It shattered my image of my first crush, I guess. But nonetheless, I was very impressed at how in love the 2 were. They raised their kid together and continued to finish school and got stable jobs. At least that's what it looked like on the pictures.

And now, they finally were able to have a proper wedding. It was a beautiful beach wedding. Perfect size, perfect decor, perfect location... nothing over the top. It was just right, just like how perfect the 2 are for each other. I've never met the girl in real life but I think if I had, I would've loved to be friends with her. She seems down to earth and practical. I respect the fact that she chose to have a simple look and simple wedding dress. I can only imagine because she knows that its better to save that money for their child... and perhaps their 2nd one if they ever plan for another.

I'd like to think that these 2 paid for their own wedding. Why you ask? Because they could've gotten married any time since their child was born and yet they waited until now. And if they did pay for their own wedding... I'd also like to think that they prepared it in a way to thank their family and friends. Because I think a huge chunk of it went to make the guests feel loved rather than going over the top with beautifying an already beautiful bride.

In many ways, I am envious of their relationship. Not because my first crush is involved but rather because these 2 beat the odds in life. Out of the 7 billion people in the world, they found each other. After having to be responsible parents despite being young themselves, they still continue to love each other. And I'm sure there's much more they've gone through that will test their commitment to each other. I mean this is the kind of stuff people are striving for, you know.

So in other words... congratulations M and D. May your love for each other live forever.