M for motivation

I think its cool that my name starts with the same letter as motivation because dang... the stuff that you can do when you're motivated. So I'm not going to brag but I do know I am smart and capable but I also know I'm lazy and somewhat selfish. If I'm not getting anything out of something, I would never bother putting all of my effort in it. For the most part, that's how school has always been.

In elementary, I had one of the poorest grades (not necessarily failing but in a class of 30 students I usually got around the 27th "highest" marks). Why? Because I know all I needed is 75% to graduate and go to the next grade level. Plus its pretty pointless after seeing how stressed my classmates were at trying to impress their parents. In high school, I actually was more motivated to get higher grades. Still not the highest, again, I don't see the point if you're just trying to impress your mom or dad. But it was significantly higher; my GPA was 3.36 when I graduated Gr. 12. Interestingly enough, what motivated me was because it was that much easier to get higher grades coz I finally had classmates who were lazier than me. Haha! Then it got bad again in university. Still the same rational as before but also I think whatever your GPA is (granted that its above or at the passing mark), you still get the same piece of paper saying bachelors of something something. When you get a job interview, its nice to see that you got such and such degree but its really your personality that will shine through. So I figure, I didn't have to try too much... especially since my career ambition wasn't that high anyway. But let's get something straight, if I wanted to be a surgeon, you bet I'd study my ass off.

It's not until now that I've been really motivated to study hard. Why? Because I know there's a promising career at the end of this program. I'm also really enjoying what I'm learning. And the most important part, I'm doing this for myself... and not to impress anyone.

Yes, its a little scary since semester 2 has now begun. I'm that much closer to doing my practicum; to taking my license exams; to doing that job interview. But even then, I'm still motivate to move forward... and maintain that 4.02 GPA I now have. Hehe.

[Update: July 26, 2014]
First assignment for semester 2, I got the highest mark. Boo yeah!

When good things happen to other people

Its that time of the... life... again. Guess its bound to happen more often especially at this age. Mid-twenties is like when everything major in life happens. You or someone you know (of the same age) graduates from university; they get engaged; get married  or have a kid or two. Its like all these wonderful milestones happening one by one. I'm seriously happy for anyone who manages to achieve these things. But at the same time, I'm reminded of the things that has yet to happen to me.

I'm not saying no good thing has happened to me... in fact, there are tons. But that one thing that you'd think everyone gets to eventually have... that still hasn't happened to me. So here I am, waiting for that one thing that everyone else I know had in high school (elementary even for others). Now those same people are like 2-3 milestones ahead of me. I feel so left behind. I feel like nothing has changed. There's nothing new to share whenever I see an old friend and they say "hey, what's up?".

Anyway, sorry for being gloomy. Just had to get this out of my system. Must go back to studying now. Exam week then finally some chillax week after. Can't believe semester 1 is over.