Shit Has Hit the Fan

I repeat!

Shit has hit the fan!!

What the heck is going on at work? I thought we're under budget? Why the heck have they opened a new position?

One of my co-worker went on mat leave and her replacement just finished training. Another co-worker leaves and the new replacement has just started training. Then another co-worker is coming back from mat leave so she needs to be re-trained as well. And now this? A totally brand new job position! One which no current casual from our team can pick up because we're all pretty low ranking in seniority.

So I'm already on the lowest of the low and now I just got pushed down not once, not twice but thrice!

This is not looking very good at all.

Insert swear words *(&$W%!*@)#%$!)#@F

F

I just did my last portion for my licensing exam.

Annndddd I wanna kill myself.

I'm hella depressed and probably would be until those results get released on November.

You know what the sad part is though. Its not the lack of content that I studied. Coz honestly, I couldn't even think of what else I would study if I have to re-take it. Its my damn nerves.

I've done exams before where I'm a wreck but at least those are written exams and I get a good 5-10 minutes to calm myself. Whereas this exam is more practical and interactive and I've got more than 2 sets of eyes staring at me while I do my best to answer questions.

There were breaks in between stations but I used that to either pray or bang my head when no one's looking.

What would be sadder if I failed this is that I found out one of my classmates passed it and she was nearly failing in school back then.

So tomorrow, I might just go pig out and shop like crazy with my best friends to calm myself down and forget this nightmare.

What's done is done.

From Super Busy to Super Bored

May has been such a whack of a month. Busy with work that had covered various shifts and then a few other obligations here and there. I am so damn pooped. But then I realized once Sunday hits... I'll be super bored. I have to figure out what to do then so that I don't end up at home all day stuffing myself with whatever food I can scrounge up.

I at least some what have plans for June with a couple of friends. Although that also means major spendage. We're staying for a weekend over in Seattle. A much need girls weekend vacation. It sucks though coz its either I'm bored and getting fat or I'm having fun and getting poor. Le sigh!

Speaking of spendage, its application time for licensing exam #3. Bye bye $900. I hope I only have to pay you once. Glad I passed the first two exams on my first try but at least those two didn't cost as much.

That Was Unexpected

So, still no definite answer with my financial advisor. But for some reason I'm not all too panicky about it. I figure, if its meant to be then great... if its not then at least I know I'm just not ready to shell out for my own mortgage.

One thing that did happen that was out of the blue was a letter I got from my college. Apparently I've been selected to receive a scholarship. At first I was confused because I'm done school and I haven't applied for any scholarship. I also felt someone else could use it for a better cause. Maybe pay their student loan since mine is done. But then I realized I still do have this expensive exam coming in September and if I do end up being approved for mortgage, I most definitely can use any extra money coming my way.

I'm a little uncomfortable though about this award ceremony as it is kinda random. Its not officially a graduation ceremony. I don't think I'll even be seeing my classmates there. I'm not even sure if my family and friends should come out for this event. Its 1.5 hour event right in the middle of a working day. But at the same time, its a little bit sad knowing that I'm going by myself.

I also googled the award itself. Its apparently based on academic and personal achievement which is decided by the Dean. I've never met the Dean though so its either I was selected by my teachers or I got the highest marks in class. Either way, I am super thankful for this provision God has given me. I can remember having to apply for scholarships when I was high school and cry coz I felt that my GPA was never good enough. But now when I haven't even asked for it, God just gave it to me. Thank you, Lord.

5 Minute Distraction Please

What a great week its been.

1.) We found out on Monday that my best friend passed her nursing exam on her first try.
2.) She had an interview on Tuesday at the same hospital where I work.
3.) She got hired today!!
4.) I passed my jurisprudence exam. (1 down, 2 to go).

Now to fret over the next exams. I seriously have no clue how to study for it. There's really no guidelines unlike the jurisprudence. I feel like I'm just blindly studying whatever I can... and part of me is saying that the stuff I'm reviewing is unlikely gonna be on the test. Then a major chunk of it is calculations. See, I never understood how you study for math. Because for me, its either you get it or you don't. There's no practicing for it because you don't really memorize it but rather know how to apply it. The formulas are pretty much always given... you just input the values to do your calculation. I guess that's sorta the disadvantage of being a math person.

I know I'll be panicking on the day of the exam, telling myself I should've studied more. But it really sucks when you don't know what to study. I did try the sample test before studying and it was still a B-. So I think the trick really is just to carefully read the questions. But its driving me nuts because now that I have time to prepare for this test, I know I'm not utilizing it wisely. I mean hello... I am blogging right now for pete's sake.

Fruition

I can finally see all those years of education taking fruition. And yes I had to google how to use the word "fruition", especially since I thought it was "fruitition". Well to be honest, I could've probably gotten the same fruition by skipping university and going to community college instead. Totally backwards right? I remember when I placed university higher than community college in every way imaginable. But this is how I see it now:

If you just wanna study for a short amount of time and gain a very specific set of skills then go for community college. Considering how high tuition cost these days, this is probably the best way to go. If you plan to study longer, perhaps getting a masters or PhD then university for sure. These days bachelors don't mean anything.

Here's kind of a breakdown of the 2 paths I had/might've taken for post-secondary.

To be an elementary teacher at a public school:
4 years for a bachelors at university (~$40,000) + 1 year for second bachelors (~$10,000) = salary of ~$43,000 annually for entry level

To be a pharmacy technician at a hospital:
7 months for a certificate at a community college (~$3,000) + 4 licensing/training exams (~$2,500) = salary of ~$44,000 annually

Whichever path you guys choose just remember to do a bit of research first. Had I known I would've/could've taken this program right after high school, I could've started my career as a pharmacy technician years ago and be earning way more than that. Of course it's not always about the money, I also had other reasons why I decided teaching wasn't for me.

The hype is over

Starting to feel burned out... like I've learned all that I can (at least the theoretical components). At the same time scared that I'm getting thrown out towards the real world very soon. Just 4 more days of classes and 6 more days of exam to be exact. Brain can't really handle any more information. Body isn't feeling like doing stupid last minute homework that could've been given to us 2-4 weeks ago when we were doing nothing.

Realizing I've got at least 1 more year to be fully licensed. Adding up the cost of each licensing exam and special training. Hoping against odds that I can make up for that cost and risking it all for a chance just to be "casual".

Ugh! My head hurts from going back and forth telling myself: you're almost there but at the same time am I really ever gonna get there.

2015 is going to be an expensive and trying year for sure. So I guess I'll look forward to 2016 instead.

[[Update: Sept 26, 2014]]
So my lab demonstrator just told me a couple of days ago that I got the highest mark so far on our error checking exercise. Then the next day she told me that my preceptor for my practicum emailed her to tell her how impressed she (the preceptor) was by me. My lab demonstrator basically just gave a really good reference about me and my preceptor practically told my lab demonstrator that she wants to hire me, even though we've only chatted on the phone.

God is good! I really need this job and hope that its everything I hope it to be.

Opt-shuns

Its still months away, 5 months to be exact, but I'm really worried about it. What should I do?

I'll be graduating at that time and I know I won't be getting the career I want right away. I still have my licensing exams to do after all. But that's all right, it works out because that gives me enough time to save up money since I've been working less hours due to school. My goal is to earn as much as I can with my current job but also work at a pharmacy to keep my skills sharp. In order to do this, I'll have to move back to my old department since they work overnights. Then I can work day shifts at the pharmacy. However, I heard that they are dissolving the old department after the holidays which is pretty much when I'm planning to start.

So my troubles are I'll have to be working 2 day shift jobs instead. I find this to be more exhausting and its harder to please each job schedule-wise. The fact that my current day job doesn't have guaranteed hours is also a problem. I'd like to have one job with guaranteed hours and the only way to get guaranteed hours (in my current company) is to be a full time team lead. Which isn't so bad, that's 40 hours a week of higher pay! I wouldn't mind volunteering at a pharmacy instead to keep my skills in practice. At least with volunteering, I can go do it when I want... yay for lazy days. Now the problem with this whole plan is that how am I supposed to get promoted when obviously the company is going through budget cuts if they're willing to dissolve a team.

Ughh!! I know.

You're probably asking why I bother staying at this company. Its really because I don't have long term plans for these jobs so why start over with a brand new company when I'm leaving in less than a year. At least within my current company, I already have a great reputation. I have a better chance of getting what I want with them than having to start over at a brand new company. Of course this is all assuming I pass my licensing exams next year. After which I'm really hoping I get my career started already. Otherwise I may have to stay longer at my current company.

I have to admit though. The thought of being promoted and getting back at a certain co-worker does sound amusing. I wouldn't be mean to her of course but I can at least rub it in her face especially after hearing that:

1.) she voiced her opinion about being a team lead but still hasn't gotten it yet

2.) the friends that she turned on me has now finally seen her true colors and have turned on her