3 Months Later

Fast forward to 2016!

The perpetual moving out:

I'm forever going back and forth between mom's and my new place. Partly because I'm not done decided how to set up my closet and even decorate my walls. So most of my stuff are still sitting at my mom's place. Its been great though choosing furniture and building it.. making themes here and there.

The overstretched wallet:

Of course with the holidays my budget definitely got stretched. Mortgage, furniture plus gifts for my family and friends. But I somehow made it. My only struggle is that I'm going on vacay next month and I might have to dip into my savings. I'm really torn about having to do that but I'm finally having a real vacation. As in going to another place I haven't gone to. After all, I'm always going to the homeland and eating the same food and going to the same place. Its great that I get to fly over there but I've always wanted to be on actual vacation.

Exam be gone:

I passed my last licensing exam! Hallelujah. The Lord provides. Now I can apply for a full-time position or another casual position. In fact, I've decided to quit my 2nd job which isn't related to my career. It helped paid some of the bills and I've added a new reference for my updated resume but I knew it wasn't a forever kind of thing. But these are things I don't wanna fuss about until my vacation is over.

Conclusion for 2015:

Its been full of trials (like the literal sense) but it was all worth it, knowing where I am now and how blessed I feel. I trust God has better plans for me for 2016 and I can't wait to see them unfold.

My brain won't shut up

I think its too excited about the endless possibilities of tomorrow. Even though I'm lacking sleep and actually do have time to sleep, I can't because my brain is just on fire. Its been re-writing over and over again how my life potentially could be for this year and next. Like how school is starting in a month and a half and that I'll only have to study for 7 months, do some training, write a couple of exams and finally land a career I actually do care about. Then next year my potentially new home will be ready. Everything brand-spanking new plus I get to live on my own again.

Just the idea of all these new beginnings is enough to make me happy!

Of course the best new beginning would be finding a new crush. Its kinda sad to say this but I do miss CD only coz I miss the hype of having a crush. When I see him there's no more internal-elementary-school-girl-screaming. Instead I'm seeing more and more why I don't like him as much. Like the things that I wouldn't have minded back then now seem major valid reasons why I shouldn't like him. DP said I'm probably in denial and this is my self-defence mechanism kicking in. But if that's true then I should feel more bothered when he's around me. If any, being with him actually makes me miss and at the same time pity the old me. In some way I really am relieved of having to over-think everything he does but I also miss that part of me that's always hopeful.

The sucker part is that now I can be with him without automatically translating everything he says/does, it seems like we're actually really communicating again. And knowing me, it'll only take so little before I start feeling something for him again.

[March 19, 2014 UPDATE]
Gah! It's starting. The over-thinking. Last night's shift had more communication with CD than usual since there was only 5 of us working. As we were getting ready to go home, he asked if I am working tonight to which I replied no then he casually adds that he also has the night off. I already knew he wanted the night off so he can work on Saturday instead to be there for the other supervisor's last day. But then I started thinking why is he telling me he got tonight off when he knows that I already know he got it off. Anyway, the good part is that I'm only at the "what was that about" stage. I haven't actually began creating scenarios in my head trying to break down what really probably is a simple conversation.