Shit Has Hit the Fan

I repeat!

Shit has hit the fan!!

What the heck is going on at work? I thought we're under budget? Why the heck have they opened a new position?

One of my co-worker went on mat leave and her replacement just finished training. Another co-worker leaves and the new replacement has just started training. Then another co-worker is coming back from mat leave so she needs to be re-trained as well. And now this? A totally brand new job position! One which no current casual from our team can pick up because we're all pretty low ranking in seniority.

So I'm already on the lowest of the low and now I just got pushed down not once, not twice but thrice!

This is not looking very good at all.

Insert swear words *(&$W%!*@)#%$!)#@F

The Calm Before Shit Hits The Fan

Sooooooo I'm slightly doing better compared to last week. I've done around $600 worth of damage. Surprisingly on things I actually do need and not just on recklessly must have now. I think it helped that I finally found out the completion date for my new condo. Woohoo! Something good to look forward to. That oughta keep me distracted till November. I just hope that my shifts increase from now on so that I can pay for this new responsibility. I'm sure I wouldn't be able to do careless spending anymore. Every price tag will now incur a good 5 minute or more thought process.

I'm so excited but also scared.

But most of all. I'm thankful because I know God provides for His children. =)

Leave of absence

One more month till practicum. Then glorious 2 months of being stress-free from work. Although I'm probably gonna be stressed on practicum too... and not getting paid for it for that matter. So I'm not sure if I should be happy about that. But I do know that at least I'll be learning a lot from it plus it'll help me get the career I want.

Work has been very frustrating lately. You'd think we'd get more hours since its back to school already and the holidays are next. I'm not saying I want more shifts... but I do want someone to work with me!! I hate having to serve customers by myself for 3-4 hours then cleaning up by myself too. The only hours that I see going up is towards other departments but I'm sure in terms of efficiency, our department is the most efficient. They should calculate the total sales of each department per number of staff.

I'm glad my old department supervisor is already asking for me to come back. Sadly I do have to go on leave for my practicum but its really good to know I don't have to return to my current department after practicum.

But I'm kinda having second doubts about returning to my old department. After thinking about how many times I've already stood up for GF, I've come to realize he isn't really the kind of friend I need. He is just unpredictable... one moment you're friends, the next you're not. He doesn't even tell you why, he just beats around the bush by posting something vague on facebook. I've had countless times of wondering if I had done something wrong whenever he made one of those post. I guess I just had enough because this whole time I thought of his well-being and somehow always blamed myself when I know I did nothing wrong. Plus I really don't feel any appreciation when I do something nice for him. And I've also come to the conclusion that he will never trust me as a friend because he still sees me as a competition for CD. So I just know me coming back means more drama again. SIGH!!! Well, one problem at a time I guess.

Opt-shuns

Its still months away, 5 months to be exact, but I'm really worried about it. What should I do?

I'll be graduating at that time and I know I won't be getting the career I want right away. I still have my licensing exams to do after all. But that's all right, it works out because that gives me enough time to save up money since I've been working less hours due to school. My goal is to earn as much as I can with my current job but also work at a pharmacy to keep my skills sharp. In order to do this, I'll have to move back to my old department since they work overnights. Then I can work day shifts at the pharmacy. However, I heard that they are dissolving the old department after the holidays which is pretty much when I'm planning to start.

So my troubles are I'll have to be working 2 day shift jobs instead. I find this to be more exhausting and its harder to please each job schedule-wise. The fact that my current day job doesn't have guaranteed hours is also a problem. I'd like to have one job with guaranteed hours and the only way to get guaranteed hours (in my current company) is to be a full time team lead. Which isn't so bad, that's 40 hours a week of higher pay! I wouldn't mind volunteering at a pharmacy instead to keep my skills in practice. At least with volunteering, I can go do it when I want... yay for lazy days. Now the problem with this whole plan is that how am I supposed to get promoted when obviously the company is going through budget cuts if they're willing to dissolve a team.

Ughh!! I know.

You're probably asking why I bother staying at this company. Its really because I don't have long term plans for these jobs so why start over with a brand new company when I'm leaving in less than a year. At least within my current company, I already have a great reputation. I have a better chance of getting what I want with them than having to start over at a brand new company. Of course this is all assuming I pass my licensing exams next year. After which I'm really hoping I get my career started already. Otherwise I may have to stay longer at my current company.

I have to admit though. The thought of being promoted and getting back at a certain co-worker does sound amusing. I wouldn't be mean to her of course but I can at least rub it in her face especially after hearing that:

1.) she voiced her opinion about being a team lead but still hasn't gotten it yet

2.) the friends that she turned on me has now finally seen her true colors and have turned on her

Determined to kick butt

I know marks aren't everything but I honestly can't recall the last time I felt this competitive about grades. Though I have no clue what the average of the class is or how much my classmates are exactly getting... just seeing 100% on my quizzes, assignments and lab works is making me wanna study even more. I'm really thankful to have awesome teachers who willingly share their knowledge and passion about the program. Then there's also my classmates who are just as eager about learning and continue to help each other out. It's only been 4 weeks but we've been a tight knit group. It'd be really cool to end up working with these people someday.

Now, if I could just be as eager about my new department at work. I'm officially a barista! Pretty cool coz I always wanted to have that experience but I figure I've had way too many entry-level jobs already and should really try to go further in whatever job I currently had. Now, its like the 2 worlds collide and I get both. The sucky part is the timing. The team lead is brand new to that department and has only been trained 2-4 weeks ago. She was on vacation when I started so my first shift got cancelled since no one could train me. My eventual real first shift, she was only there for half the time, so it was cut short. During that time, she was also busy actually serving so she couldn't really train me. Tomorrow's my 2nd shift and she won't even be there. Gah, I don't even feel competent enough to work the cash register plus I don't know enough about the products we serve. I hope it won't be as busy so I can actually learn from someone. Oh and even more annoying, no apron and cap and training journal was prepared for me so I had to borrow other people's stuff. I think they ran out coz our company had a cross-training event and I guess lots of people signed up for being a barista. So needless to say my hours actually became less than what it would've been if I stayed in my old department. Which really sucks since I'll have to pay my car insurance and 2nd instalment of my tuition soon. If I do get better at being a barista and my hours still don't go up, I'll totally complain about this and transfer back to my old work station.

Step by step

You just can't help but feel thankful when you know that the universe is on your side. A total 180 from the previous post.

This was weeks ago but I've only manage to post it now. So, I was having one of those blue days at work. Despite receiving the best annual review, I was really down about my schedule. The supervisors kept emphasizing that the amount of shifts reflects your performance at work. So I was really confused why they say I got the highest review but basically one of the lowest amount of shift. Part of me was convincing myself that they did this coz they know I'd understand and it made it fair to those who always had fewer shifts than me. And yes, I understand the making it fair part because those who did have fewer shifts than me were not necessarily bad at their job. Its just that I was better. I also know they need the money more than I do. Plus with school starting, I really could only work one or two shifts per week so what difference does it make when they start limiting my shifts. So I kept this complaint to myself.

Well, I guess that paid off. Either they were scared of losing me or they finally realized I could move on within the company and not have to compete hours with other capable employees. I don't know why but suddenly 3 departments want to recruit me and another co-worker, who I can guess also got a really high review. I gave them my potential schedule which has more availabilities but shorter shifts. It doesn't matter for me if I get transferred or not. But wow, that feeling of suddenly being in demand and appreciated. Haven't felt that in a long time with all the negativity going on at work

And here's a little bonus. CD found the new schedule I submitted for the other departments. He took and hid them from the other supervisors. So if I don't get transferred, that's why. Insert giggly girl moment.

Another way the universe makes me feel awesome today is because today was the first day of school. Its weird being excited for it. I used to hate school and couldn't wait to graduate and just work. But this time its different because I'm studying for a career I really can't wait to have. Plus there's a real high chance of getting top marks in this class of 20 students. Having this endless possibilities is really great because it makes me look forward to many things in life. Each day that passes by reminds me of how much closer I am to reaching my goal. Not to mention, its a brand new group of people I can potentially hangout with. Hopefully there won't be any drama like with the issue of jealousy. I seriously can't think of what else about me people could be jealous of. After all, I'm so used to being the jealous one myself.

Man, I'm such in a good mood that I've gone ahead and made flashcards for my class though its not yet required. I've happily done my first homework and finished it before even getting bored of it. My lunch for tomorrow is also packed and I've even picked my outfit. Just hoping the weather coordinates and that I get a normal sleep cycle soon.

Thank you universe. But most of all, thank you God for always looking out for me.

Thanks for the blessings

WHAT A GREAT WEEK!!

Thank you Lord so much for the many blessings you have showered me, especially this week alone.

First is the birth of my nephew. Minion #3 has arrived and is healthy, happy and handsome as all babies should be. My sister-in-law is recovering well, my brother seems to be adjusting better with having another newborn and my niece is doing a great job of being a big sister. I'm super happy for my family for this new lovely addition. I can't wait to see the little guy again and spend some quality auntie-nephew time.. which really just means he sleeps while I watch and play with his little piggy toes.

Second is my shopping date with my best friend today. It wasn't the full day shopping we're used to but not bad. Managed to get a pair of good material denim for $10. Best part? I'm down 3 pant sizes since I left for Korea!! Its a little snug but I know I gained a pound or 2 due to lack of shifts at work recently but once that's over, I can lose those pounds again. Plus I needed pants. I only have 2 pairs left that fit, everything else got too big.

Third is still on the making. A birthday party for our co-worker is happening this weekend. Originally CD couldn't make it coz he ended up getting a shift that night. I actually managed to not be sad about this so that alone is a feat. But when I found out he's been trying to get that shift cancelled, I actually got super happy. And the manner/timing of how I found out kinda makes it special... like its a sign. An even higher and newer supervisor had called me in the office but before he could tell me about what, CD called in. They were on speaker phone so I recognized his voice. The higher supervisor jokingly asked why he was so bent on getting this shift off. Right then and there, said shift was cancelled and now I know CD will be at the party for sure. It's like the universe just wanted me to be there front and center to see it all unfold. However, the sad part is that we're expecting a snowstorm to hit on the same day. So its very likely that the party will be cancelled. If there's to be another blessing, a light layer of snow would be great so we can take group pics outside but still good weather condition for driving. Or just no snow at all. Especially since I'm probably gonna be designated driver again.

3.5th blessing is the reason I got called in the office. They wanted to give me an extra shift next week. Of course I accepted it and then the higher supervisor joked that he actually already entered my schedule before I even confirmed. It can only mean he already recognizes my abilities despite only working with him 3-5 times since he got to our department. Ohhh and CD happens to be working during that same shift. So that's like a bonus right there.

Fourth, as of like an hour ago (considering its around 5AM and my sleep cycle is messed up), I just got my acceptance letter to the program I applied for back in 2012. It had such a long ass wait list due to its low requirements but high outcomes. This program pretty much is the first step to the career I've decided on; the first step to the life I've pictured myself to have. It's part of the 5 year plan and I seriously don't have any more back ups after this one. I can't and won't screw it up because I've narrowed down my career choices to being a counsellor/teacher or pharmacist. I've already tried the first and just know I will definitely get burned out easily despite my passion for helping others out. So now, I get to do science-cy stuff which was pretty fun back in high school. I'm pretty damn excited but classes won't start till May. I've already got ideas running in my head on how I'm gonna balance out work with school; especially if there's gonna be room for promotions. But I gotta remember not to let it get to me. Never expect a promotion until its been said and signed.

Fifth, who knows? Might actually be during the party itself. Hehe! Anyway, I'm just super duper happy and can't stop smiling. Seems like small stuff to most people but I've always been the simple type of person and small things like these mean way more to me. Plus, its good to always thank the Lord!

All we need is a friend

Sometimes all we need is a good friend who's willing to listen to your crap and be on your side no matter what. I'm so glad that I have this kind of person in my life. Several, in fact, but like any other friendship different paths in life causes less communication. I don't blame us or our life choices. I'm just glad that during this time when my best friends feel a little distant, I have suddenly have another person I can rely on, especially at work.

It's kinda unexpected really. She's a nice person and really funny and easy to get along with but I never really saw us being close. We have more in common I guess in that we both love to tease and joke around but when it gets to serious stuff we're there for others more often than not. This is the same co-worker who was the first to notice when I had that really bad day. She looked for me the whole shift and then whenever she found me, she would repeatedly ask if I was okay. Then at the end of the shift, she texted me to see if I was fine. I've never met a person who's very caring as her when I never really thought we were that close.

Today we got paired to work on several projects and its probably my favorite shift of all time. We chatted a lot but we didn't get scolded because we were still faster than everyone. It helps that she already knows I like CD and we got to talk about him a lot. But what really made me happy was when she told me her thoughts about that person who complained about my getting more shifts. It still bothers me and I wanna know who but she managed to boost my confidence with simple words. We were actually talking about promotions and she wondered why I didn't apply yet. I said that I didn't want to unless they approached me because I don't want that jealous co-worker to think I'm being superior/snobbish again talking about promotions. She just paused there and then and started saying something like this:

What does that person care. If she/he can't perform at your level, he/she has no right to complain. And really at the end of it all, when everyone doesn't know what to do who do they go to but you. You're practically team lead by default.

So I really just beamed up when I realized that there are people who recognize my ability. And hearing this from another capable person just made me feel better. I'm 100% enjoying my job again. I won't let that jealous co-worker get inside my head any more. I'll just work my well deserved shifts and continue appreciating friends like this girl.

Crab in a bucket

So I just found out a few days ago that a certain co-worker of mine took my joke too seriously and used it to complain about his/her lack of shifts. I know I've been getting a lot but its not like that's in my control. I didn't even know other people had that much less shifts than me and when I did, I joked that "maybe coz I'm the favorite". Pretty low ball of that co-worker to use my joke to try and get more shifts.

My supervisor was very patient explaining to me that I should try not to make jokes like that and also watch out for 2-faced people. Then he started mentioning that its all crab mentality, some people just like to aim for the successful ones. I'm really glad he's on my side with this. Coz joking aside or not, I'm aware (and so are my supervisors) that I can definitely do my job in an efficient and timely manner plus positive attitude and that alone is the reason for my many shifts.

Anywho, so I sorta spent the next couple of days sulking about which co-worker was this. I have a person in mind but my supervisor said no (not sure if he was just saying that though). I try to think back what he said exactly and since he did mention about being "2-faced", I'm now concerned its actually someone close to me. It still bugs me now but after having one-on-one time with each supervisor, including CD, I feel much better. I apologized to them if it made them look bad but they were actually concerned for me. The female supervisor actually told me they were all worried how to bring up this issue to me. So I was touched that they cared and immediately knew that this was all bullshit.

However due to the freshness of this issue. I am trying to distance myself from all supervisors, especially CD. I don't wanna give that co-worker another excuse to make me look bad just coz I happen to get along with everyone. I was pretty sad with the thought at first but this is probably for a good reason. I don't over-think as much when it comes with CD. I might just be able to fall out of crush for him and still be good friends with him. I really wouldn't wanna lose that guy as a friend after all.

[January 14, 2014 UPDATE]
There was a huge announcement that one of the supervisors is moving to another department. Although I already figured that out by piecing together some recent events. Anyway, one of the co-workers who became my first friend there joked that I should be the next supervisor. See? Even non-supervisors see my hard work and efforts. But I immediately made a sour face and shook my head. Why? Coz the co-worker I first suspected of complaining was sitting beside me. I didn't wanna give her the idea that I'm now after a higher position. I really am not since its pointless coz once I'm back in school (by May hopefully), I'll be working less shifts. But at the same time, if they really did offer me the position, I'm willing to work and study full time.