NBIL - Never Been in Love

So here's a topic I rarely share.. just coz people tend to think it can't possibly be true. But yes, I have never been in love. Call it lame, fear of rejection, or commitment issues... whatever you want, its still true. I've never had a boyfriend, gone on a "real" date or been kissed. I'm a bit old school and would like to have been dated first before getting kissed (or going in a relationship for that matter). Then you realize I'm 24 years old, so you probably think its pathetic.

I've had my fair share of crushes, though those don't count as the real deal. I do get the same giddyness whenever I see the guy I'm crushing on. I like how I can be restless just thinking about seeing him the next day. But even I know its not love. Because the part where I want him to love me back, its not in that equation. I haven't met a guy who I wished loved me back. Just guys who I know are darn right amazing and would make some other girl really lucky.

I've tried figuring out why I am the way I am. Heck, even my best friend couldn't answer why when her boyfriend asked why I was single (btw, I so take it as a compliment when a guy wonders why I'm single). Here's what I keep telling myself, especially during my school days:

I do not need the drama during my most stressful period of my life where I am discovering what I want in life but somehow balancing that with what I need to do in life such as school, work, family and other commitments.

But now that school is over, I can actually afford the drama. The down side of having avoided it till now is that I have no clue how to deal with it. Not that those who have started dating since elementary have conquered the dating field. However, it'd still be great to have gotten over some drama jitters and know how to cruise my way around this and perhaps avoid some bullshit on my windshield.

I refuse to feel bad about me though. I do think everything happens for a reason and according to some cosmic timing as well. So some people fall in love early, some late. All that matters is that I know I'm not immune to love.

Here's to all who's in love, has loved and will be in love. May happiness be all around us!

The lunch room situation

Phew! Haven't had a real break to sit down and just rant away on this blog. Work has got me busy and exhausted... which may actually be a good thing because I spend less time shopping and am actually saving 90% of my earnings.

Anyway I decided to write about an all too familiar situation. I think the movie Mean Girls made it super clear, as well as the TV show Malcolm in the Middle... and really a bunch of other references.

That time where you're not sure which table to sit at and which person to converse with. One of those days where there's no written rule that limits you where you could be but somehow you still feel you must tread the waters carefully. As if the first table/chair you choose will be that one defining moment of your high school (or other) career.

It's been a month since I started at my new job and its pretty interesting seeing how this division in the lunch room works. There's around 30 people in my department. By far, I'd say the division is cultural at first. People of the same ethnic background eat together; probably to talk in the same language and share the same familiar food. Then there'd be the gender division (mostly for those who don't belong to a large ethnic group). But its funny coz its not like the girls talk about girly things while the guys talk about manly things. In fact both groups can sit together and enjoy the same conversation but for some reason each are just tight knit as separate groups. Now the last group would be the smokers who has to use their break time wisely. Being in the graveyard shift means every entrance/exit in the building has an alarm and can only be deactivated at a certain time and location. So these guys rarely have time to eat during break. Instead they go for breakfast together after work which I must say is really awesome. I haven't hung out with work people outside of work because we're all just too tired and wanna sleep or have to go to our next job.

Outside of the lunch room though is different, everyone still works together. Not always harmoniously as one would like to think. For instance, many complaints have gone around this past week. I'm pretty worried how the group chemistry would be once some people are let go (failing the probationary period) or if some more people are added. I think its still a bit early to change the dynamics of it all but sadly its not my call.

Anyway, I'm just glad that out of the 30 people I work with, I can clearly say that I enjoy working with about 7 of them, 20 people I am good working with (meaning we each do our job properly but I don't enjoy their company as much) and 3 that I seriously wish I never have to be with. I'd say those statistics are looking good.

Coffee shmoffee

I've been drinking coffee since I was 11 years old.

I remembering seeing my parents everyday making their own coffee every morning before heading to work. They take their mugs spoon in some ground coffee, add sugar and maybe some cream. I figure this must be something only adults drink since not once have they offered me a taste. One day, when both my parents were gone, I decided to make my own drink. I felt like such a big girl because I'll be drinking coffee for the first time. I got a mug and added 2 spoonfuls of ground coffee, spoonful of sugar and spoonful of cream. I slowly add hot water and began stirring. It smelled really nice. I took a small sip so that I don't burn my tongue but that one sip was enough to make me gag.

Why didn't anyone tell me to put only 1/4 (or 1/2) spoonful of ground coffee. I seriously thought it'd be the same as making my own Milo or Ovaltine chocolate drink. Needless to say, it took a while before I decided to drink coffee again. 11 years old seemed liked the right age to retry.

Now I drink 2-7 cups a week. Not to stay awake or keep the withdrawal symptoms away. It's just one of my favorite hot drinks. However, despite this classic coffeeholic habits of mine, I actually do not know what the difference between some coffee drinks are. I don't necessarily feel (taste?) that one has a stronger taste than the other. Drip coffee all taste the same to me. Latte and cappuccino do too, except I think cappuccino is foamier.

So I'm really glad to see my sister post this:

It gives me an idea now. Plus this is the first time I heard of doppio. Kinda cool but I'm not sure I'm ready to try it. I do know I am a latte person.