Psychology of Dreams

Dreams can really be interesting. I'm taking about the ones you get from sleeping. I actually took a psychology course about sleep thinking it'd be about interpreting dreams and such but it focused on the affects of the circadian rhythm rather than dreams... so yes, I wasn't particularly keen about that one. Anyway, what I really was hoping to study was how dreams illicit physiological response.

In my case, my heart pounds like crazy when I dream of a guy who in the dream world I believe is my true love. So much so that the pounding wakes me up before any romantic stuff happens. That's probably my body waking me up to prevent myself from having a heart attack. When I was younger, I'd also wake up when I cried too much in my dreams (not because they were nightmares but because they're just sad dreams). I woke up with real tears too. Ohhh and the really interesting one is when I wake up and kick because I just had a dream where I jumped or fell or something like that. Apparently that one is not too uncommon because my friends experience it too.

The reason why I'm posting this is because last night, I think I felt my first broken heart due to a dream. Well, its confusing coz the dream should be happy by all means but my heart sure felt different. Lots of random things happened in the dream that don't connect but the part that I'm talking about was something like this. It was snowing like crazy outside and for some reason I'm on my summer PJs and open-toed slippers. I was looking for the guy who I love but I've yet to confess to. (By the way, I swear he was Asian at first then somehow became Caucasian on the latter part of the dream; not any guy I know in real life too). Other people began leaving their homes/office/school and were coming outside and they all were appropriately dressed for this blizzard. They all looked at me like I'm crazy. I finally gave up looking for him and decided to go to Starbucks for a hot drink. As I turned around, someone threw a navy green winter coat over my head and shoulder to shield me from the snow. My heart kinda started pounding around this part because I knew that it was him, the guy I love. He held my hand and we went to Starbucks together. When we got there, he let go of my hand so he can order our drinks. I was still kinda in la-la land about how he took his jacket off and gave it to me. Then I noticed how the pretty barista was very chatty with him. I didn't think he was flirting back with her but for some reason I didn't like what I felt so I ran. I guess it must've been to our home or some area with a special meaning because it wasn't familiar to me in real life. There was a bonfire in the middle of the room and I was kneeling down and warming my hands. He came in looking frazzled then quickly knelt beside me. He held my hands in his again and this time was blowing on it, as if to keep it warm. I can see that he looked hurt coz I left him. He told me that he was sorry and that he loves me. And that's when I woke up.

My heart was pounding so much but somehow I knew it wasn't coz of happiness. Its like I woke up sad because this guy said he love me. He wasn't even real. And if he was, the whole flirty barista thing wouldn't phase me that easily. So I guess I got curious why my heart reacted the way it did.

I'm also curious why certain details stood out for me. Like the navy green winter coat. I can still picture it as if I'm still in the dream world. I also remember the combination to a locker, which was a whole other scene before lover boy showed up. Yet the most important details... like say his face or name was totally gone by the time I woke up.