So, still no definite answer with my financial advisor. But for some reason I'm not all too panicky about it. I figure, if its meant to be then great... if its not then at least I know I'm just not ready to shell out for my own mortgage.
One thing that did happen that was out of the blue was a letter I got from my college. Apparently I've been selected to receive a scholarship. At first I was confused because I'm done school and I haven't applied for any scholarship. I also felt someone else could use it for a better cause. Maybe pay their student loan since mine is done. But then I realized I still do have this expensive exam coming in September and if I do end up being approved for mortgage, I most definitely can use any extra money coming my way.
I'm a little uncomfortable though about this award ceremony as it is kinda random. Its not officially a graduation ceremony. I don't think I'll even be seeing my classmates there. I'm not even sure if my family and friends should come out for this event. Its 1.5 hour event right in the middle of a working day. But at the same time, its a little bit sad knowing that I'm going by myself.
I also googled the award itself. Its apparently based on academic and personal achievement which is decided by the Dean. I've never met the Dean though so its either I was selected by my teachers or I got the highest marks in class. Either way, I am super thankful for this provision God has given me. I can remember having to apply for scholarships when I was high school and cry coz I felt that my GPA was never good enough. But now when I haven't even asked for it, God just gave it to me. Thank you, Lord.
Friday, 24 April 2015
Sunday, 19 April 2015
One Milestone at a Time
I'm slowly learning to be patient. I'm trying not to worry too much why some things haven't happened yet in my life. I strongly believe that God has a reason for everything and all I have to do is have faith and wait. Of course, I still get that pang of jealousy whenever I see good things happening to others. Its not that I don't think those people deserve it.... in my head, I'm always just analyzing why they got those good things before me. This is especially the case when I feel that I've waited for it longer or worked on it harder or etc. Then I realized, there are somethings that I have which these very people don't have but want to have. So to the things that I do have and have yet to have... I am very thankful for.
Thank you for being alive, for having a home, family, friends, a really good job, an education, my health, my faith on my God and all these things I take for granted. I hope that others will be encouraged to be thankful for the things they also have and yet to have.
For now, the most recent milestone I wish to accomplish is to own my own home. I've already accepted that it won't be a dream house like the ones I used to draw when I was a kid. After all, I live in the 2nd most expensive city in the world. But the idea of being independent is something I've always respected and wanted. I got a bit of taste of it when I lived in Korea and am really missing just having my own place.
This Thursday I'll be meeting with a financial advisor so I guess that's when I'll know what God's plans are for me in terms of moving out.
Thank you for being alive, for having a home, family, friends, a really good job, an education, my health, my faith on my God and all these things I take for granted. I hope that others will be encouraged to be thankful for the things they also have and yet to have.
For now, the most recent milestone I wish to accomplish is to own my own home. I've already accepted that it won't be a dream house like the ones I used to draw when I was a kid. After all, I live in the 2nd most expensive city in the world. But the idea of being independent is something I've always respected and wanted. I got a bit of taste of it when I lived in Korea and am really missing just having my own place.
This Thursday I'll be meeting with a financial advisor so I guess that's when I'll know what God's plans are for me in terms of moving out.
Monday, 13 April 2015
Psychology of Dreams
Dreams can really be interesting. I'm taking about the ones you get from sleeping. I actually took a psychology course about sleep thinking it'd be about interpreting dreams and such but it focused on the affects of the circadian rhythm rather than dreams... so yes, I wasn't particularly keen about that one. Anyway, what I really was hoping to study was how dreams illicit physiological response.
In my case, my heart pounds like crazy when I dream of a guy who in the dream world I believe is my true love. So much so that the pounding wakes me up before any romantic stuff happens. That's probably my body waking me up to prevent myself from having a heart attack. When I was younger, I'd also wake up when I cried too much in my dreams (not because they were nightmares but because they're just sad dreams). I woke up with real tears too. Ohhh and the really interesting one is when I wake up and kick because I just had a dream where I jumped or fell or something like that. Apparently that one is not too uncommon because my friends experience it too.
The reason why I'm posting this is because last night, I think I felt my first broken heart due to a dream. Well, its confusing coz the dream should be happy by all means but my heart sure felt different. Lots of random things happened in the dream that don't connect but the part that I'm talking about was something like this. It was snowing like crazy outside and for some reason I'm on my summer PJs and open-toed slippers. I was looking for the guy who I love but I've yet to confess to. (By the way, I swear he was Asian at first then somehow became Caucasian on the latter part of the dream; not any guy I know in real life too). Other people began leaving their homes/office/school and were coming outside and they all were appropriately dressed for this blizzard. They all looked at me like I'm crazy. I finally gave up looking for him and decided to go to Starbucks for a hot drink. As I turned around, someone threw a navy green winter coat over my head and shoulder to shield me from the snow. My heart kinda started pounding around this part because I knew that it was him, the guy I love. He held my hand and we went to Starbucks together. When we got there, he let go of my hand so he can order our drinks. I was still kinda in la-la land about how he took his jacket off and gave it to me. Then I noticed how the pretty barista was very chatty with him. I didn't think he was flirting back with her but for some reason I didn't like what I felt so I ran. I guess it must've been to our home or some area with a special meaning because it wasn't familiar to me in real life. There was a bonfire in the middle of the room and I was kneeling down and warming my hands. He came in looking frazzled then quickly knelt beside me. He held my hands in his again and this time was blowing on it, as if to keep it warm. I can see that he looked hurt coz I left him. He told me that he was sorry and that he loves me. And that's when I woke up.
My heart was pounding so much but somehow I knew it wasn't coz of happiness. Its like I woke up sad because this guy said he love me. He wasn't even real. And if he was, the whole flirty barista thing wouldn't phase me that easily. So I guess I got curious why my heart reacted the way it did.
I'm also curious why certain details stood out for me. Like the navy green winter coat. I can still picture it as if I'm still in the dream world. I also remember the combination to a locker, which was a whole other scene before lover boy showed up. Yet the most important details... like say his face or name was totally gone by the time I woke up.
In my case, my heart pounds like crazy when I dream of a guy who in the dream world I believe is my true love. So much so that the pounding wakes me up before any romantic stuff happens. That's probably my body waking me up to prevent myself from having a heart attack. When I was younger, I'd also wake up when I cried too much in my dreams (not because they were nightmares but because they're just sad dreams). I woke up with real tears too. Ohhh and the really interesting one is when I wake up and kick because I just had a dream where I jumped or fell or something like that. Apparently that one is not too uncommon because my friends experience it too.
The reason why I'm posting this is because last night, I think I felt my first broken heart due to a dream. Well, its confusing coz the dream should be happy by all means but my heart sure felt different. Lots of random things happened in the dream that don't connect but the part that I'm talking about was something like this. It was snowing like crazy outside and for some reason I'm on my summer PJs and open-toed slippers. I was looking for the guy who I love but I've yet to confess to. (By the way, I swear he was Asian at first then somehow became Caucasian on the latter part of the dream; not any guy I know in real life too). Other people began leaving their homes/office/school and were coming outside and they all were appropriately dressed for this blizzard. They all looked at me like I'm crazy. I finally gave up looking for him and decided to go to Starbucks for a hot drink. As I turned around, someone threw a navy green winter coat over my head and shoulder to shield me from the snow. My heart kinda started pounding around this part because I knew that it was him, the guy I love. He held my hand and we went to Starbucks together. When we got there, he let go of my hand so he can order our drinks. I was still kinda in la-la land about how he took his jacket off and gave it to me. Then I noticed how the pretty barista was very chatty with him. I didn't think he was flirting back with her but for some reason I didn't like what I felt so I ran. I guess it must've been to our home or some area with a special meaning because it wasn't familiar to me in real life. There was a bonfire in the middle of the room and I was kneeling down and warming my hands. He came in looking frazzled then quickly knelt beside me. He held my hands in his again and this time was blowing on it, as if to keep it warm. I can see that he looked hurt coz I left him. He told me that he was sorry and that he loves me. And that's when I woke up.
My heart was pounding so much but somehow I knew it wasn't coz of happiness. Its like I woke up sad because this guy said he love me. He wasn't even real. And if he was, the whole flirty barista thing wouldn't phase me that easily. So I guess I got curious why my heart reacted the way it did.
I'm also curious why certain details stood out for me. Like the navy green winter coat. I can still picture it as if I'm still in the dream world. I also remember the combination to a locker, which was a whole other scene before lover boy showed up. Yet the most important details... like say his face or name was totally gone by the time I woke up.
Thursday, 9 April 2015
What I Could/Should Be Doing By Now
1.) Clean my room. After the hellish 2 months of exams and a bajillion pages of notes spread out every where in my room... I most definitely need to clean up. Not to mention clean and dirty clothes are starting to merge into one pile. I really don't understand how this is happening considering I pretty much just wear scrubs for work and haven't gone to lots of events that require that much dressing up. Last but not the least all them mails that keep coming through but am too lazy to shred. Maybe coz the shredder broke.
2.) Buy a new shredder.
3.) Catch up with friends whom I've shooed due to said exams. It was hard enough scheduling any time with these wonderful people.
4.) Exercise... due to said exams... again. Damn when I go hermit mode coz of studying I really don't hold back on food and caffeine. I'm sure I gained 5 lbs just from studying and not to mention that 15 lbs from going back to school. Its so sad that I don't have my overnight job anymore that helped lose 15 lbs before.
5.) Look for a potential second job. Honestly at this point, I don't care what it is and how much I'll make... I just need another job to keep me distracted and also maybe meet new people.
So why am I not doing any of these? Coz its my lazy week... I might even extend it another week. I know I hella deserve it. I'm watching all my animes/dramas/TV shows and reading my mangas like its my last day on earth. I'm also still adjusting to the idea of not being with my overnight team, despite my ups and downs with em. And the bestest excuse ever... got lots of time on my hands now. I promise to be responsible some other time.
2.) Buy a new shredder.
3.) Catch up with friends whom I've shooed due to said exams. It was hard enough scheduling any time with these wonderful people.
4.) Exercise... due to said exams... again. Damn when I go hermit mode coz of studying I really don't hold back on food and caffeine. I'm sure I gained 5 lbs just from studying and not to mention that 15 lbs from going back to school. Its so sad that I don't have my overnight job anymore that helped lose 15 lbs before.
5.) Look for a potential second job. Honestly at this point, I don't care what it is and how much I'll make... I just need another job to keep me distracted and also maybe meet new people.
So why am I not doing any of these? Coz its my lazy week... I might even extend it another week. I know I hella deserve it. I'm watching all my animes/dramas/TV shows and reading my mangas like its my last day on earth. I'm also still adjusting to the idea of not being with my overnight team, despite my ups and downs with em. And the bestest excuse ever... got lots of time on my hands now. I promise to be responsible some other time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)