Shellfish

Sometimes when I get jealous, I also start feeling angry. At first it'd be at the person I'm jealous of then at myself because its not like that person did anything bad. The next thing you know I'm hating myself for being so selfish.

Why is it so easy to want the things other people have and not notice the good things we already have?

I keep asking myself that question. I know I have many things I'm thankful for... like having a home, a family, friends, education and good health. Some people aren't as fortunate as me. But my selfish side is saying (sarcastically) that I should be thankful as long as someone else has it worse than me. Well that doesn't sound like a good way to cheer myself up.

In addition, I find these are the basic things we should all be getting in life. In an ideal world everyone should have a home, a family, friends and all these good things. The reason why I'm even more upset is because the thing I'm jealous about is one of these basic things as well. I'm baffled at how easy it is for others to have this thing. Sometimes I wonder if its the way I was brought up or the way I look or my personality or just my luck as to why this thing hasn't come my way.

Everyone says I'm still young and got time but I'm thinking well they (the people I'm jealous of) are young too (some even younger). What's driving me bonkers too is that I know that thing is out there for me. But I can't really stand the idea of waiting anymore when everyone you know has it already. So this SHELLFISH person wants to know... when is it my turn?

PS: Total deja vu but I feel like I posted this already and it may even have had the same title... perhaps on another blog.