Thursday, 24 July 2014

M for motivation

I think its cool that my name starts with the same letter as motivation because dang... the stuff that you can do when you're motivated. So I'm not going to brag but I do know I am smart and capable but I also know I'm lazy and somewhat selfish. If I'm not getting anything out of something, I would never bother putting all of my effort in it. For the most part, that's how school has always been.

In elementary, I had one of the poorest grades (not necessarily failing but in a class of 30 students I usually got around the 27th "highest" marks). Why? Because I know all I needed is 75% to graduate and go to the next grade level. Plus its pretty pointless after seeing how stressed my classmates were at trying to impress their parents. In high school, I actually was more motivated to get higher grades. Still not the highest, again, I don't see the point if you're just trying to impress your mom or dad. But it was significantly higher; my GPA was 3.36 when I graduated Gr. 12. Interestingly enough, what motivated me was because it was that much easier to get higher grades coz I finally had classmates who were lazier than me. Haha! Then it got bad again in university. Still the same rational as before but also I think whatever your GPA is (granted that its above or at the passing mark), you still get the same piece of paper saying bachelors of something something. When you get a job interview, its nice to see that you got such and such degree but its really your personality that will shine through. So I figure, I didn't have to try too much... especially since my career ambition wasn't that high anyway. But let's get something straight, if I wanted to be a surgeon, you bet I'd study my ass off.

It's not until now that I've been really motivated to study hard. Why? Because I know there's a promising career at the end of this program. I'm also really enjoying what I'm learning. And the most important part, I'm doing this for myself... and not to impress anyone.

Yes, its a little scary since semester 2 has now begun. I'm that much closer to doing my practicum; to taking my license exams; to doing that job interview. But even then, I'm still motivate to move forward... and maintain that 4.02 GPA I now have. Hehe.

[Update: July 26, 2014]
First assignment for semester 2, I got the highest mark. Boo yeah!

Sunday, 13 July 2014

When good things happen to other people

Its that time of the... life... again. Guess its bound to happen more often especially at this age. Mid-twenties is like when everything major in life happens. You or someone you know (of the same age) graduates from university; they get engaged; get married  or have a kid or two. Its like all these wonderful milestones happening one by one. I'm seriously happy for anyone who manages to achieve these things. But at the same time, I'm reminded of the things that has yet to happen to me.

I'm not saying no good thing has happened to me... in fact, there are tons. But that one thing that you'd think everyone gets to eventually have... that still hasn't happened to me. So here I am, waiting for that one thing that everyone else I know had in high school (elementary even for others). Now those same people are like 2-3 milestones ahead of me. I feel so left behind. I feel like nothing has changed. There's nothing new to share whenever I see an old friend and they say "hey, what's up?".

Anyway, sorry for being gloomy. Just had to get this out of my system. Must go back to studying now. Exam week then finally some chillax week after. Can't believe semester 1 is over.

Saturday, 5 July 2014

Opt-shuns

Its still months away, 5 months to be exact, but I'm really worried about it. What should I do?

I'll be graduating at that time and I know I won't be getting the career I want right away. I still have my licensing exams to do after all. But that's all right, it works out because that gives me enough time to save up money since I've been working less hours due to school. My goal is to earn as much as I can with my current job but also work at a pharmacy to keep my skills sharp. In order to do this, I'll have to move back to my old department since they work overnights. Then I can work day shifts at the pharmacy. However, I heard that they are dissolving the old department after the holidays which is pretty much when I'm planning to start.

So my troubles are I'll have to be working 2 day shift jobs instead. I find this to be more exhausting and its harder to please each job schedule-wise. The fact that my current day job doesn't have guaranteed hours is also a problem. I'd like to have one job with guaranteed hours and the only way to get guaranteed hours (in my current company) is to be a full time team lead. Which isn't so bad, that's 40 hours a week of higher pay! I wouldn't mind volunteering at a pharmacy instead to keep my skills in practice. At least with volunteering, I can go do it when I want... yay for lazy days. Now the problem with this whole plan is that how am I supposed to get promoted when obviously the company is going through budget cuts if they're willing to dissolve a team.

Ughh!! I know.

You're probably asking why I bother staying at this company. Its really because I don't have long term plans for these jobs so why start over with a brand new company when I'm leaving in less than a year. At least within my current company, I already have a great reputation. I have a better chance of getting what I want with them than having to start over at a brand new company. Of course this is all assuming I pass my licensing exams next year. After which I'm really hoping I get my career started already. Otherwise I may have to stay longer at my current company.

I have to admit though. The thought of being promoted and getting back at a certain co-worker does sound amusing. I wouldn't be mean to her of course but I can at least rub it in her face especially after hearing that:
1.) she voiced her opinion about being a team lead but still hasn't gotten it yet
2.) the friends that she turned on me has now finally seen her true colors and have turned on her